Karmel Korn

What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck!

OUCH!

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!

DOUBLE OUCH!

East, Sweet East

At long last, it's vacation time (actually I'm writing this in school as my students struggle over a test I gave them). In just about 15 minutes we'll begin a 2+ week vacation (aaaahhhhh) and in about 12 hours I'll be back on the glorious East Coast for an enjoyable Passover holiday.
What can be better then being in close proximity to my wonderful Nageela Boyz? (hey, you, stop cheating!)
It's exciting, maybe I'll even seee some of you.

Open To Suggestions

Well, here's another old T- Shirt design that never made it to the presses.

HOT TIP: This design will be on the cover of your Camp Nageela Guide that you'll be getting in the mail within the next week or so...

New Kind of Crocodile Belt?

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - A Palestinian woman wearing a strangely bulging robe was caught at the Gaza-Egypt border trying to smuggle three baby crocodiles strapped to her waist, an official said Monday.
The reptiles, their jaws tied shut, were apparently bound for a Gaza zoo, said Maria Telleria, a spokeswoman for European observers who run the Rafah crossing.
"She looked strangely fat," Telleria said, explaining why the woman was ordered by a policewoman to submit to a search as she tried to enter Gaza from Egypt Thursday.
Surprised by the three crocodiles, the policewoman screamed, other guards raced to the scene and the reptiles were eventually turned over to authorities on the Egyptian side of the border, Telleria said by telephone.

PICTURE OF THE WEEK

Come up with a great caption to this picture, and post it with the 'comments' link below.

Photo courtesy of Yosaif Cohen

Deep Thoughts

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Submitted by Aaron Stoner (bunk 3)

Karmel Korn

Left eye to right eye:

Just between us... something smells

OUCH!

Have a better (or worse) one? Email it to me at dani@jepli.org and I'll post it in your name! (Unless your name is Dorky, then I'll post it and make fun of you)

TOP 10 CONTEST

In our last Still NUTS email we asked you for the top 10 craaazzzzy and unexpected things that could happen at Yehuda's wedding. As it gets closer and closer to the wedding day (scary, isn't it) it is finally time to unveil the posts that you've sent in. Feel free to add more to the comments; here we go:

TOP 10 CRAYZEE THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN AT YEHUDA'S WEDDING:

10. Yehuda grabs the mike and starts blabbing (oops, was it supposed to be something unlikely?)
9. The bride has a beard (sound familiar?) variation: Yehuda's wife is Rabbi Shenker (submitted by Aaron Stoner, Bunk 3)
8. The Numa Numa man performs live in concert at Yehuda's wedding, it gets on National TV, Yehuda gets famous and rich
7. Dani arranges a 'DaNiSH' scavenger hunt during the chuppah
6. Yehuda gets a raise (submitted by Yehuda)
5. Yehuda gets fired (submitted by Rabbi Shenker)
4. There were quite a number of 'goat' related entries, so here they are:

a. I think the stranges thing that could happen at Yehuda's wedding would be no goats showing up. But thats a very, very faint possibility (Azi Steiner)

b. The goats being invited (Sam Lipke, Bunk 5)

c. Yehuda shows up wearing a Goatee

3. Yehuda screams I'm not getitng married... color war!!!!!!! (Ilan Friedner, Bunk 5)

2. He can invite dorky

1. Yehuda gets married!!! (now is that craaaaayzeee or what!)

Nageela's Numa Numa

I don't know if everyone saw this from summer 2005, but it's worth watching!

NBA ALL STAR WEEKEND UPDATE

I know its way, way after the fact, as the All- Star weekend was a month ago, but as it took place in my hometown of veggies, i mean vegas, and I had some interesting experiences there, I figured I'd share it with you.
NBA PLAYERS ASSOCIATION PARTY:
The NBA has one big party each year, the night before the All- Star game. It's a private party to which a few thousand people get invited , and there's tight security to make sure you can't get in unless you're an invited guest. This year it took place at the MANDALAY BAY Event center, and naturally, when the NBA found out Dani Locker was in town they had to invite me! Well that's not quite accurate, but I did manage to use a connection and get tickets. It was a pretty crazy party, and I spent most of it outside in the lobby, not being particularly interested in the rap concert starring TI.
There was a preview of a movie they're making about Alan Iverson, and I spent some time shmoozing with my cousin who introduced me to John Starks, Shawn Kemp and Rafer Alston (AKA Skip to my Lou) who was trying to dance with me.
I also got these pictures with my phone of Scottie Pippin and Manut Bol (i think).

I think it was pretty cool that two guys with Yarmulkas were able to walk around there with no problem.

And if you follow College Hoops, my UNLV Runnin' Rebels are going all the way!!!

Dorky, Dorky, Dorky

So once upon a time there was a guy named Dorky who thought he was cool. Unfortunately, he was so cool that his coolness didn't register on our simple Earthly meters, thus rendering him distinctly uncool.
In appreciation of his participation in the inauguration and consecration of this Internet based app elation, my imagination in this dissertation will use integration for modification of Dorky's reputation for mindless instigation and brainless interrogation.
Instead I will address the Nation to quickly ration any degradation and curb your exultation at Dorky's indignation and dissension. Congratulations

What I'm basically trying to say is that even though Dorky is prime real estate for getting made fun of, I'm holding back because I don't want him to feel bad (or maybe because he wants me to)

World's Fastest Car! 253 MPH

Bugatti Veyron at top speed

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to the following All- Star Nageela campers:

Oren Hashemi ... 2/17
Steven Kostick ... 2/28
Michael (AY) Eliyuk ... 3/20
Greg Rudnitsky ... 3/15

Mazal Tov to former Nageela counselor and Educational Director Aaron Fromowitz on the birth of a baby girl.

Apology to Horse

Earlier on this blog, we referred to our new Nageela addition as a pony. We soon received the following response from the horse, speaking through his agent.

"For your information, I am a fully grown 6 year old horse, not a pony. I am a show horse, with a pure bred pedigree, (which I can send you if you like,) and I am used to being loved and respected. I hope your campers will treat me nicely, and not just like any old horse.
See you soon,
Dr. Suus "

We offer our sincere apologies for this oversight. We would like to assure you that no racial stereotypes were intended in our statements. It is our fevent hope that people and horses can work side by side to help combat hatred bigotry and narrow vision (blinders, anyone?) and make Camp Nageela a better place for all.

Happy New Year!

Dvar Torah, Dvar Torah, Dvar...

This Shabbat we get to read from two separate Torah scrolls (yipppeeee!)

. We read the special part about the mitzva to make months, and to make this upcoming month (Nissan) the first month. So that means this week is New years!!! Hooray!

Let’s picture this scene for a minute.

The Jews are comin’ out of Egypt after bashing and trashing- bumping and thumping- smashing and crashing Egypt for a full year. G-d had pulled off some pretty cool stuff for them including an animal show that would make ANIMAL PLANET look like a petting zoo, a pretty HOT hail storm, and the worst water shortage (or rather blood plenty) in history. HE brought skin diseases that would make anthrax seem like sugar and a plague on all the cattle that left the Egyptians wishing they had any cows to get mad cow disease. All the Egyptian radio and TV stations were forced to close down due to darkness, and ConEd of Cairo insisted they were doing all in their power to get things back on track… to no avail.

Okay, okay, I’m getting a little carried away with my imagination, but my point is that G-d had just done awesome stuff for the Jewish people. They were ready for the real deal- the mitzvos- the Torah.

What’s THE FIRST MITZVAH that G-d gave them? Making the Jewish calendar. Huh? What’s so important about that?

The answer of course is because we need a calendar to know when Camp nageela starts, and to know when visiting day will be so we can plan our candy consumption.

Besides that there might be another reason (duh)

The months are a majorly important part of being Jewish for a bunch of reasons. One of them is because the Jewish people are just like the moon (yup, we're made of green cheese, too). The moon gets bigger and smaller, and when it's small we know that it's gonna get big again. We're like that too. We go through some tough times, but with G-d on our side, like HE was in Egypt back in the day, we're in pretty good shape.
There may not be a man in the moon, but there is a little moon in every man.

Picture of the Week

Can someone please explain to me why someone trusted him with a gun?

And now introducing...





It's a parakeet...


It's a goat....


It's a baby duck...





NO, IT'S THE NEW NIGHT ACTIVITY DIRECTOR!!!





Yes, we've upgraded that position to someone smarter, more handsome, and less afraid of the goat. Here he is.

(no, silly. not the girl. the pony)

Seriously, meet the newest member of the Nageela Zoo. I can't wait to see what Yehuda does when he wakes up with it in his bed!

Karmel Korn...

Did you hear about the magician driving home from work?

He turned into a driveway.

OUCH!

Have a better (or worse) one? Email it to me at dani@jepli.org and I'll post it in your name! (Unless your name is Dorky, then I'll post it and make fun of you)

Open to suggestions

As NAGEELATIME quickly approaches, it's once again time to figure out what to use for the Nageela T- Shirt. Since our standards are high, not just any design will work!

I'll be posting different ideas regularly, and we'll vote on it in a month or 2. But if you have any ideas, post a comment or email me, and I'll be happy to use it.

Of course, if you come up with an idea that we end up using (besides the ones I've already made), we'll throw in a free T- Shirt.

Anyway, here's one:

Oh, I almost forgot. Isn't the weather beautiful! This is just to dig into all you Northeast dwellers.

Unfortunately, the AC in my car doesn't work that well, otherwise I rather enjoy the 88 degrees right now!

Try not to get frostbite thinkin about it!

Welcome!

It's about time. After all these years, I'm finally starting my own blog. This way the myriad millions who long to hear my wisdom can be privy to it.
Actually, it's just so that I can talk and nobody has to listen.
This blog is made primarily for my Nageela boyz, but if anyone else finds something woth reading you should probably get yourself checked out, and then feel free to go ahead and read away!

Well that's it for now, I'll be back later!