Please leave a massage after the tone

Today, I fired my massage therapist..

He just rubbed me the wrong way...

Really? You're kidding!

Here's the cover to a book my kids have, and I must say I'm severely disappointed!
I'll bet the author never even tried to! Huh, Harriet?  Have you?
I can't say I do it often, because to truly savor the fine taste and texture of an expertly marinated Kirby requires the faculties of palate, tongue and epiglottis.
However, tasting a pickle with one's ear does provide a pleasantly pickly sensation as well.

So next time somebody writes a book, I sincerely hope they research the topic well.

It's a boy!

Mazal tov to
Camp NAGEELA (east)
Asst head counselor
Shaya Hecht
Upon the birth of a baby boy!

Shopping

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

There r no cats... Abd the streets are paved with pickle juice!

Apparently, Bergen County, NJ has started using pickle juice to melt snow.
What a terrible waste of a valuable commodity!

pickle juice article

Kay-liens

Two astronauts land on Mars. Their mission: To determine whether there is oxygen on the planet. 'Give me the box of matches,' says one.

'Either it burns and there is oxygen, or nothing happens.'

He takes the box, and is ready to strike a match when, out of the blue, a Martian appears waving all his seven arms. 'No, no, don't!'

The two guys look at each other, worried. Could there be an unknown explosive gas on Mars? Still, the astronaut takes up the match and prepares to strike it.

Suddenly, a crowd of hysterical Martians come, all waving their arms: 'No, please no, don't do that! STOP! Please!'

One of the astronauts says, 'This looks serious. What are they afraid of? Nonetheless, we're here for science, to know if humans can breathe on Mars.' So... He strikes the match -- which flames up, burns down, and... NOTHING HAPPENS!

So then he turns to the Martians and asks, 'Why did you want us to not strike a match?'

The leader of the Martians steps forward and says, "Today is Shabbos!"