To choose or not to choose...

Some time within the past ten years, I overheard a fascinating conversation.  An immigrant couple, originally from the former Soviet Union, was discussing the future musical enrichment of their newborn child.  In her heavy accent, the young mother expressed her concern that her son might not enjoy playing piano.  Igor, her husband, impassionately assured her that there was no problem.  "We make practice every day. Then he enjoy."
"But what if he never enjoys?"
"We make practice more. Then he enjoy."

I grew up in a camp with no choices.  Period.
Well, that's not precisely true; we had the choice not to attend activities at all, and in my younger years, largely disinterested in the sports- dominated activities, I spent a great deal of time sprawled on my paper- thin camp mattress, reading and achieving ever higher scores in Tetris.  To this day, I can't get Alexey Phazitnov's Tetris theme song out of my mind.  No, really.  It's stuck.
I read so much that at the end of my summer following 5th grade my camp award featured the accolade, "Speed Reading."
Eventually I learned to appreciate the camp activities, and bonded with the same friends year after year, and the activities held greater enjoyment for me. Never during those years did I consider that choosing my activities could be a part of camp.  I did have 'Choose your own Adventure' books, but that doesn't really count.
In 2013, many camps offer elective- heavy programs, and it's not just camp.  Schools, clubs, sports leagues- for better or for worse- kids have more input into their lives. Are elective activities better for our children, or should camp activities be assigned to them? Here's a list of possible benefits on both sides of the debate:
The case for assigned activities:
1. Varied experiences:
Electives may be fun, but they pigeon- hole the campers into a limited number or style of activities.  Assigned activities assure a rich variety of activities, which (unless you attend a specialty camp) is a great thing.
2. Age appropriate:
A dozen boys sign up for a basketball elective. 3 of them are 9 years old. Another bunch are 12,and there is a 14- year- old in the group as well (kind of resembles the first round of March Madness).  In group activities campers are usually scheduled with only their own age group.
3. Staff:
Campers develop a unique rapport with their cabin staff.  It's great positive relationship building when that very same counselor is with them at the soccer game, archery range or gaga pit.
4. Safety:
You want your camp to always know precisely where your child is. When she's with her bunk or cabin, that is a given. In a hectic specialty activity where each camper chooses what she wants, it's easier for a child to slip through the cracks.
5. Lemonade:
At the risk of overdramatizing... thinking you can only be happy if you get the exact scenario of your choice will ruin your life.  You can be one of those people who enjoys life or one of the people who complains about it...  Seriously- years of camp have proven that kids can have an amazing time doing things they would never have imagined they could enjoy. Instead of getting to choose your wand, your wand will get to choose you. You'll like it.
6. The closer:
One can't quantify the benefit of the friendships and lifelong connections a child makes in camp.  Additionally, the feeling of group comeraderie, particularly among campers who return year after year, is what camp is all about.  If the choice is between a more exciting activity, or an activity that will contribute to life- changing friendship, I'll take the latter any day.
The case for electives:
1. Show me the love:
Hey, I came to camp to have fun. I like paintball. I don't like knitting. Why would you force me to do something I don't love?
2. Serious skill development:
Many elective programs are ongoing, so over the course of a week or two I can learn a skill well, like basket weaving, making hair accessories out of duct tape, shooting free throws or icing a cake.
3. Friendship variety:
Your child probably has 10-15 campers and a handful of staff in her cabin.  Attending activities with like-minded peers not necessarily in her cabin allows her to expand her friendship circle two or threefold.  It also gives her a chance to bond with more staff members.
4.Empowerment:
Children  need to feel important, like they can make meaningful choices in their lives. By simply choosing waterfront over track, your son has just asserted mastery over one small aspect of his life. One small step...
5. Bed making:
Sometimes a camper will make a poor selection, teaching the ever valuable lesson of learning to deal with the ramifications of your error. We feel for you, but it was your decision and you've got to work through it.
Suggestions:
If you've selected a quality Jewish camp, you can't go wrong.  Most camps do have a hybrid system where some activities are preselected and some are electives. All will lead to a fun and meaningful experience your child will never forget. Be educated.  Know the right questions to ask. Also, don't forget that some camps have office staff who know little about the camp's activities- speak to someone who does.
Assuming you do choose a camp with at least some element of electives, here's a word of advice for your child:
Hey kid, don't come out to camp just to do the same thing you do all year.  Really, we get that you like tennis.  Go try something new.  One of my camp mottos is TNS- Try New Stuff.  Go ahead, I dare you.

sample day's activities at camp nageela west

How important are a camp's activities to begin with? That's for another blog post...