Ouch

Q: What has four legs and an arm?

A: A happy pit bull

how slowwww can you go.

While traveling this week, Avi and I noticed a very disturbing sign at Washington Reagan Airport. It's disturbing on several levels.

(by the way, this isnt the actual sign, but a refabrication atempt);

Problem 1: WHY ON EARTH SIX?

Problem 2: The original sign that we saw was mounted on the same pole as a STOP sign.

I suppose then it really should read, " SPEED LIMIT 0"

Why woul I want to make a Rabbi joke?

Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the weekly collection they kept for themselves.
The first priest explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the circle God kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same, except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest and the money that landed inside the circle God kept.

The rabbi said, “I’ve got you both beat. I throw ALL the money into the air, and what God wants, God takes!”

Q: Why can't you keep a clock in jail?

A: Because time is always running out.


OUCH!!!

I'm Hooked

A young sailor was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he looks over and sees a pirate. The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye. Unable to resist, the sailor asks “How’d you end up with a peg-leg?”
“I was swept overboard during a fierce storm,” says the pirate. “and a bloody shark bit off me whole leg!”
“Holy cow!” said the sailor. “What about the hook, how’d you get that?”
“Me crew and I were boarding an enemy ship, a fierce sword battle ensued. One of them cut me arm!”
“Absolutely incredible!” gasped the sailor. “And the eye patch, tell me how you got that?”
“A bloody seagull dropping fell into me eye,” replied the pirate.
“Umm, you lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” asked the sailor, astonished.
Embarassed, the pirate answered “It was me first day with the hook.”

101...

I just bought a new zebra

I think I'll call him "Spot."

CONTEST!

COME UP WITH YOUR OWN GOAT JOKE, LINE, CARTOON OR SONG.

EMAIL IT TO ME HERE AND I'LL POST THE BEST (OR WORST) ONES!

Korny seafood

Q. Why don't oysters give to charity?

A. Because they're shelfish!

OUCH

moor koorn

Q. What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?

A. Frostbite.

corny frogs

What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad

Pumpkin korn

Well, not really korny, but hey, it's a joke.

A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.'
So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened. In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.
The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks.

The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the wise guy that pushed me in!'

Dip the Korn in the honey

Q: What do you call steaks ordered by 10 Jews?

A: Filet minyan.

Hey, I had korn for supper tonight...

What do you get if you drop your waffle on the beach?

San Diego

(Sandy- Eggo)

Korn is Back

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

They kept saying "Bach, Bach, Bach"

If apples come from an apple tree and peaches come from a peach tree, what kind of trees do chickens come from?

A poul-tree

Korn with your Koffee?

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".

The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says:

"HEBREWS"

Corn and Apples

WHY DID THE FIG TAKE THE PRUNE TO THE MOVIES?

CAUSE IT COULDNT FIND A DATE

Butter- Pop Korn

Why was the archeologist depressed?

Because his career was in ruins!

Do you know what happened when the wheel was invented?

It caused a revolution!

Korn Cheescake

Where does a T-Rex shop for groceries?

At the Dino-Store.

Why did the ant travel to Washington, DC?

He wanted to run for presid-ant.

Korn Bread

What time is it when you go to the dentist?

Tooth- Hurty!

Do everyone a favor! Send in YOUR jokes. That way they won't have to hear mine!

Korn and Onions?

I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.

And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

Two robbers broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun to the cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say 'HISTORY.'" The robber answered, "Don't change the subject."